I am writing this for you if you are
A sufferer of mental illness
A spiritual being looking to connect to her soul
A peace seeker
A woman just trying to do her best
I see you and I am you.
Being a mother can be a lonely place, especially when you think that you are experiencing things that no one else is.
The reason we feel this way is that many of us don’t talk about the negative parts of our lives for fear of being looked down upon and maybe made to feel ashamed by others who just don’t get what we are feeling.
We wear badges of ‘busyness’ as though our lives depend on it.
We rarely stop and take time to connect to ourselves and each other (in a real, raw, emotive kind of way)
Honesty is key. Honesty enables us to understand one another and provide support, especially through times of sadness, isolation and grief.
Let me take the lead and open my heart to you.
About 10 years ago I left my previous husband to follow a niggling feeling that had been with me for a few years. This was against all of the advice from family and friends. I left with my two children and moved into a little house on my own. At first I felt a sense of relief. It took enormous amounts of courage to initiate the separation on my own. However, the reality of the situation slowly began to sink in.
- My ex-husband and I began sharing the care of our children. This caused me great pain as I grieved the loss of them. I couldn’t bear not seeing them each day.
- I was working night shift as a nurse while my children were at school so that I did not miss out on precious time with them.
- I began to really struggle when my children were not with me.
Things were not entirely grim – through this journey I met a very special soul who encouraged me to go back to university and gain my teaching qualifications. This would allow me to see my children everyday – if I were to land a teaching gig at their school. What a dream.
I also applied my creative visualisation practice – each morning taking time to visualise spending quality time with my children and feeling deep into this state. This practice for me is one of trust and knowing. I truly believe that when we hold the picture in our minds of what we want, it will happen for us in the physical. So, simply put, I would just see in my mind’s eye the picture of what I wanted for my life, and feel what it felt like at the same time. I did this everyday, sometimes more than once a day. It just felt good for me and felt as though I was following my heart ~ this is an indication that I was listening to + trusting my inner wisdom. This is how I always create my life!
Within a few months I was working as a teacher’s aide at my children’s school as I studied for my degree– this allowed me to see them each day.
However, during my time away from my kids I found myself slipping into a very sad state. I would spend hours in my room crying. Once we were reunited I would feel like myself again. This began an emotional roller-coaster and I was doing all that I could to put on a brave face. Pretending I was ok.
After providing endless amounts of support and love, my partner suggested I see a doctor. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety as a result of grief. I was also referred to a psychologist who assisted immensely with my path to recovery.
Once I started taking anti-depressants (and I know this isn’t the same for everyone) I began to see more clearly, it felt as though a veil had been lifted from my eyes. I was able to start thinking of the future and how I would move forward. I had been so stuck in my grief – so deeply that it felt as though my children had died! It was very real.
It has taken 7 years and I am proud to share I have let go of depression and the medication that helped me begin to move forward.
Looking back, I have no regrets. I see it all, the divorce and the depression, as a gift that has helped me truly know myself.
With my new found clarity I began to think about what I wanted for my life.
What I really wanted, not just what I had, or thought I deserved.
I didn’t want to settle for less than what I dreamed of.
I started doing things differently –
- I chose to speak up instead of remaining silent, afraid of hurting others.
- I started writing daily to reflect on my thoughts and also to connect with my inner wisdom. I would write intuitively asking a question and then receive an answer from within.
- I began taking time for myself to be quiet and still.
- I started to get to know myself as I’d never done before, which then allowed me to begin to accept myself for who I am.
- I became conscious of the need to let go of the grief as well as the guilt I felt at letting my children down, hurting my ex-husband, as well as family and friends.
- I realised all my actions were required to support my soul’s growth. Therefore, I did not owe anyone an explanation and needed to let go seeking approval from others.
All of the above led to me feeling more loving towards myself and giving priority to a different way of living…that is one of peace.
I have inner peace in mind when I wake up in the morning and before I go to bed at night. This is the state I most love to be in. I also love to teach other women how to create this state for themselves. We all have the ability to go within and create a loving, calm and centred space that will filter joy to our external worlds.
I currently coach + mentor women who want to move forward in creating a life of self-love and intuitive decision-making. I help them create and nurture their own beautiful spiritual practice that provides them with support during both the light and dark moments of their day.
I truly love my work as I get to spend time with women when they are at the point of being ready to move forward and set beautiful heart-centred goals to create the life they desire to live.
If you feel called to work with me, I offer a free 30 minute consult so that we can chat and get a feel for what it is you’d like to work on + to see if we’re a great fit for each other.
If you’d like to know more lovely lady, then send me an email on:
firstname.lastname@example.org and we can set up a chat.